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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

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80% Recommended by our customers.
Publisher: Harvest Books
Catalog: Book
Release date: 2008-03
Media: Paperback
Number of pages: 304
Ean: 9780156033909
Book Isbn: 0156033909

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Authors:

Carol Tavris	see more Books by Carol Tavris
Elliot Aronson	see more Books by Elliot Aronson

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Professional Review:

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?

Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

User Reviews:

Written on May 7, 2008
Summary: Fantastic Book! Can't put it down.
I just picked this up in Newark airport on my way back from Europe. My boyfriend had been terrible to me and the trip was the worst I ever had. So this book seemed apropo. I love it! It brings in a lot of MBA oriented theory from my Power and Politics classes as well as Advertising and Marketing. It is brilliant and I wish I had read it years ago!

Written on April 1, 2008
Summary: Read At Your Own Risk Of Deconstruction!
A face paced, witty, entertaining, informative, and dark read from page one.
Nothing like having every belief, stance, arguement, sacrifice, ethic,
loyalty, and moral conviction challenged by the time you've made it through
the introduction! We humans are endlessly interesting creatures, that's for
sure. A must read for any inquiring mind, politician, pastor, activist,
judge, police officer, teacher, doctor, suffering soul, do-gooder, bully, or
social terror. Enjoy.

Written on March 4, 2008
Summary: Generally succeeds, but has its shortcomings
This book does fairly well in portraying how we go about attempting to make reality consonant with our internal self, and the consequences thereof. For instance, clinicians who do not use thorough scientific rigor to evaluate their claims (such as repressed memory) can end up seeking out anecdotal evidence that confirms their suspicions, and despite the fact that "x" may be untrue, will convince their clients that yes, "x" did indeed happen to them, and this is why they are the way they are. The client, apt to accept such a statement as it is consonant with the fact that it exculpates them, will then go on believing x is true (without sufficient evidence to do so), possibly destroying people's lives in the process.

I focused on this as an example because the book focuses on sexual abuse and repressed memories as essentially hocus pocus, and this is where the book succeeds but also fails in some regards. For one, sexual abuse is associated with amnesia and dissociative symptoms; the hippocampus, when flooded with cortisol (as in stressful situations), interferes with the ability to form declarative memory.

This is scientific evidence that helps make the point that, while the clinicians in the examples given in the book jumped to the conclusion of sexual abuse--due to operating on the non-empirical assumption that their patient had repressed memories--were indeed wrong to do so, the inclination to suspect sexual abuse or trauma when someone has lost a large portion of memories of their childhood is not necessarily a poor hypothesis (just an uncorroborated one).

In general, while I enjoyed the book and found it applicable to my life on many levels, I felt as though the political examples of cognitive dissonance may have been imbalanced against Republicans (I am a Democrat); the statement that an individual with a completely false autobiography was "healthy" was a bit puzzling, given that meningiomas, porphyria, and other medical conditions can cause false memories (and the person discussed had been abandoned early in his life by his mother; how exactly can one presume healthiness here?); and that the book gave off the sweeping impression that if you've been sexually abused, you'll only experience heightened explicit memories.

So, I recommend buying the book if you don't mind these objections, as it can help you gain insight as to how we have a confirmation bias and need to distort reality to our benefit.

Written on February 13, 2008
Summary: I wanted to stand up and applaud this book
If there was ever a book that cuts to the heart of some of the major issues that confront our world this is it. It speaks to the individual & the marital couple, it speaks to the psychotherapy community, the judicial system, the healthcare system & goes on, I dare say, to speak to world leaders about a path, albeit a difficult one, to peace. To add to the credibility of this book, there was hardly a statement made that was not research backed. Yes, there was definitely a political point of view that will be offensive to some, but what could be a greater example of not being able to admit you were wrong than our own President in regards to the Iraq war? I think the point was that this self justifying attitude that seems to be pervasive in our society has enormous consequences. If you don't get that from this book or if you don't see yourself in the pages of this book... well, you weren't paying attention.

Written on February 10, 2008
Summary: A perfect example
The disagreement around the issue of 'Global Warming' and whether it is human-caused (anthropogenic) or not, is a good example of the principles discussed in this book. It is very plain to see now, the lashing-out by (mostly left-leaning) Environmentalists against the ever-increasing number of scientists, and hard evidence, which drives a vast wedge into this media-supported charade that 'the Science is Settled', 'humans are definitely to blame', 'we are near a tipping point in the environment' etc, ad nauseum. Ad Hominem attacks against hundreds of the world's most highly qualified (and Skeptical) climate experts are beginning to fly like confetti in a hurricane, especially since the Inhofe report. Sad to see, when many of the experts now being harassed, have been part of the UN IPCC's own effort to alarm the world. Environmentalism is an ideology, and Anthropogenic Global Warming a RELIGION, you need to be aware. But that's how stupid people can get, when they need to defend a conviction. And attacks by reason only firm a group's or individual's resolve, in many instances - in this case, the resolve of Global Warming alarmists. Thankfully, history demonstrates that good science usually prevails.

Comparison map

Wondering how the book "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts" relates to similar books? Find out at a glance here:

Price comparison	Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify...	The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People...	Don't Believe Everything You Think: The 6 Basic...	Blind Spots: Why Smart People Do Dumb Things	Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That...	A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and...
Our price	$9.72	$12.24	$13.59	$13.59	$17.13	$10.85
List price	$15.00	$18.00	$19.98	$19.98	$25.95	$15.95
Lowest used price	$8.46	$11.39	$8.99	$10.70	$14.75	$8.44
Lowest new price	$8.73	$10.03	$12.56	$10.75	$14.45	$8.90
Catalog	Book	Book	Book	Book	Book	Book
Release date	2008-03	2008-01-22	2006-05-02	2007-04-26	2008-02-19	2008-06-23
Media	Paperback	Paperback	Paperback	Paperback	Hardcover	Paperback
Format	-	-	-	-	Roughcut	-
Number of pages	304	576	286	250	304	256
Ean	9780156033909	9780812974447	9781591024088	9781591025092	9780061353239	9780393331639
Book Isbn	0156033909	0812974441	1591024080	1591025095	006135323X	0393331636
Link to shop^* (opens in a new window)	BUY IT NOW^*	BUY IT NOW^*	BUY IT NOW^*	BUY IT NOW^*	BUY IT NOW^*	BUY IT NOW^*
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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts